Mother, I Fell in Love Today
by Nin
Summary: What if monsters had emotions? What if they didn't? While this is a Xelfi fic (X/F), it focuses more on Zelas' relationship with Xellos than anything else. I found myself thinking, "Where's the NON-romantic love?"


Mother, I Fell in Love Today  
  
by  
  
Nin Tendo  
  
  
  
~ Disclaimer ~ Hey, maybe if this fic reaches the creators of Slayers, they'll be impressed with me and recruit me as one of their own...? (Lina casts a fireball, bringing me back to reality) Oh, yeah, that's right! I don't speak Japanese! (cough) n_n  
  
Warning: I use the Slayers dub language, and no Japanese quotes. I remember being a newbie to Slayers, and for the love of God, I could _not_ figure out what "Sore wa himitsu desu" meant--but that was before I found out that it was a certain somebody's catchphrase (hey, I'd only seen the first few episodes by then--saying it _once_ didn't make it his catchphase, did it? :p)  
  
WARNING!!! I...don't have a working spellchecker... (bawls and rocks in the corner)  
  
Summary: What if monsters had emotions? What if they didn't? While this is a Xelfi fic (X/F), it focuses more on Zelas' relationship with Xellos and the behavior of monsters in general than anything else. (Though, you shouldn't really take it _too_ seriously, as it is the product of my irritation that most fans in general only try to convice others that monsters have emotions only so they can pair Xellos up with someone--Xelfi fics included. I found myself thinking, "Where's all the non-romantic love if monsters could love?"). Read on if you'd like a fresh, new opinion on the monster race!  
  
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"What news do you have for me, Xellos?" Zelas asked, taking a long drag from her cigarette.  
  
Xellos rose to his feet from the kneeling position and replied, "Lina and Gourry are continuing to travel the globe, searching for a more worthy blade. However, as I've told you before, Amelia, Zelgadiss, and Filia have broken from the group to travel different paths. Amelia has returned to her kingdom to continue her duties as a princess, Zelgadiss is, as always, searching for a way to regain his human form, and Filia has built a shop in Seyruun in order to raise the reborn Valgaav. I hear that Jillas and Gravos are lending her a helping hand."  
  
"Nothing out of the ordinary? Anything potentially hazardous?" Zelas demanded, a little surprised by the calmness of it all.  
  
Xellos shook his head. "Absolutely nothing remotely interesting is taking place at this point of time--well, excluding the fact that Lina hasn't called Gourry a jellyfish-brain in over a week. I do believe it's a new record!"  
  
Zelas snorted, amused. She exhaled, shaping the smoke into a complex design, then asked, "What information do you have on Valgaav's current status?"  
  
Xellos sighed, for his answer wouldn't satisfy his master in the least. "Other than the fact that he's currently an egg and in the care of Filia, I have no information on this matter. Whether Valgaav is still half-monster, full dragon, or if he'll even remember the entire spectacle is debatable. We'll have to wait until he hatches before we'll be able to properly deal with him. If we decide to act at all, of course. He may not even become a threat."  
  
"Hmm," Zelas pondered, tapping her cigarette on an ashtray to free it of ashes. "So, as you say, it seems that absolutely nothing is going on."  
  
"It's rather boring, actually," Xellos confirmed.  
  
Zelas took one last drag before putting out the cigarette. "Do the walls have ears, Xellos?" she whispered beneath her breath.  
  
Xellos grinned in anticipation. "No, Lord Beastmaster. The room is sealed." He eagerly awaited her signal.  
  
The Greater Beast Zelas Metallium rose from her throne and appoached her priest.  
  
Bringing her arms around him and pulling him close, the mother said, "Welcome home, my son."  
  
----------------------------------  
  
There's a downside to being the most powerful monster underneath the dark lords, Xellos reflected, and that is how nearly everyone feared him to the point that life just wasn't fun anymore.  
  
The Golden Dragons, for example. So what if he'd killed a whole swarm of them shortly after his very creation? It was understandable for them to fear him, but they didn't just have to give in without a fight! Milgasia had just submitted to his will like a frightened puppy--though it didn't exactly show on his face--, and the Supreme Elder had unleashed his supreme cowardliness when he ordered his people to not make a move against him-- though he _was_ busy fighting Valgaav at the time, and they would have been an annoyance, in the least. It wasn't like he would kill them if they rebelled against him--maybe simply maim them, but still! In fact, he would have enjoyed the breath of fresh air before putting them in their place.  
  
Yes, yes. Putting people in their place was much more fun than simply being obeyed. Even more fun was manipulating someone into thinking that they were doing things of their own free will when they really weren't.  
  
Perhaps that was why he enjoyed it so much when he travelled with Lina and her companions. None of them, not even Filia, feared him in the least bit. In fact, all he breathed while around them was fresh air, especially during an argument with Filia! She was the only Golden Dragon on the planet to dare call him a piece of filth! While she sometimes--not often at all--frustrated him with her insults, he would treasure that dragon's fearlessness for many years to come, as well as her ability to simply piss him off.  
  
The thing was, Xellos was beginning to truly believe that Lina, Gourry, Amelia, Zelgadiss, Filia, and the Dark Lords were the only beings on the planet that knew who he truly was and didn't quake in fear at the mere mention of his name.  
  
He was relieved and eternally grateful for them, even though he knew that the humans of the group would be long dead before he, himself, would take his own last breath. At least there would always be Filia and the Dark Lords to annoy--and Valgaav, too, once he hatched. Maybe Valgaav wouldn't fear him, either. His previous self certainly had not.  
  
But, whatever the case, it was only the lonliness that he wished to keep at bay. More and more, it was plaguing his dark soul.  
  
It was only the people that didn't fear him in the least that were able to keep that lonliness away. After all, someone who pretended to be your companion for fear that you would kill them was a rather empty thing. They would do as you say, no questions asked, and they would be a slave rather than a friend.  
  
And it was only Lord Beastmaster that truly understood that.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Xellos is the only one who understands me, Zelas reflected.  
  
Before she had created her present priest, she had only a handful of lower class monsters that feared her every frown. They had all been terribly afraid of her, and the only reason that they'd obeyed her without question was the fact that they thought she would dispose of them if they rebelled.  
  
Well, she'd disposed of them, all right. They'd been worthless, selfish creatures, putting their own lives before her own.  
  
When she created again, she did the procedure a little differently than before. She'd given him a great deal of power, making him nearly equal to her in strength, and she'd imitated how a human mother would have raised her son. The result had been Xellos, her priest, and the only servant she found need of for over one thousand years.  
  
In fact, Zelas doubted that she would ever need to create another servant for as long as Xellos was alive.  
  
He'd been different from the others since the day he'd been born. Instead of following her orders for fear that she would kill him, he obeyed her for the simple reason of pleasing her. His loyalty was almost humbling. Even when she'd been forced to lend him to Phibrizzo, her priest had still obeyed her first and foremost.  
  
But, even so, Xellos wasn't just a faithful follower.  
  
He was the only one able to banish the lonliness from her non-existant heart.  
  
Instead of fearing her, he feared for her, and that told her that he would be the best servant that she would ever have,  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
"It's good to be home, Mother."  
  
It had been a daily ritual ever since Xellos could remember, this imitation of a human conversation. Every day, he would observe humans: how they spoke, how they looked, how they reacted to things, and, most of all, what they felt during all of this. Every night, he would return to Wolf Pack Island, and relay all of the information he'd aquired to his master, Zelas, through this game they played. Over time, it had become a nightly play of sorts. Xellos had adopted the role of a son, while Zelas would portray the mother.  
  
It would always begin the same:  
  
"How was your day, son?"  
  
"Oh, very eventful, Mother."  
  
"Tell me all about it, dear."  
  
Xellos' reply would always be different at this point. One night, he would exclaim, "Mother, I won first place in a Brass Rackets tournament today!" Yet, on another night, he would mourn, "Mother, I lost a fight with Valgaav today..." The variety was very important to the skit, because it would be much too boring if Zelas knew exactly how to respond, and Zelas's response would always differ as well, since Xellos always enjoyed a good challenge. From time to time, they would pause from their acting to offer advice and constructive criticism. As each night passed, they both gained a broader knowledge of humanity, and became ever more talented with their acting.  
  
However, it's important to point out that, as monsters, most of humanity's emotions escaped them. And, even then, it was only the more powerful monsters that could truly feel them, and even those emotions, like the potency of a drug, would wear away over time. Therefore, taking into account that they were both over a millenia old, it would be likely most accurate to point out that they no longer felt the emotions as they acted them out. Not to mention that positive emotions would cause them a considerable amount of pain; they were monsters, after all.  
  
They were also fond of exaggerating these emotions that they apparantly could not feel as their own, for example, when the subject of love was brought up.  
  
"Mother, I fell in love today."  
  
"Oh, my son is growing up so very fast! Who is the lucky girl, and how did this wonderful event come to pass?"  
  
"You see, Mother, I didn't get along very well with this girl, but, today, I saved her life and she helped me when I was injured. You remember Filia, don't you? I'm-I'm thinking about asking for her hand in marriage."  
  
"Filia?! THE UL COPT GIRL?! I FORBID IT! The Ul Copts and Metalliums are warring clans, my son! You cannot marry that girl! Where are you going?!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Mother, but I cannot and will not go against my own heart because of a silly little feud between families! And, yet, I know that this world cannot ever accept our relationship... so I am off to commit a double love-suicide with my one true love, Filia Ul Copt! Good-bye forever, Mother!"  
  
Yes, they'd both gotten a great laugh over that one, as amusement, especially that borne of ironic situations, was one of the newest emotions they'd discovered, and had yet to fade. "Pure genious," Zelas had remarked. "Just a sudden inspiration!" Xellos had replied.  
  
No wonder they chose to keep these little escapades from the rest of the monster race. And you thought Deep Sea Dolphin was bonkers...  
  
But, you're probably wondering why they did this in the first place, aren't you? If you'd ask Zelas or Xellos that question, they would probably reply, "Practicing how to behave like humans allows us to travel among and around them without being suspected in the least bit!" While that is undoubtfully true, there was another reason. A reason that, if anyone ever found out, it was possible that the monster race would attempt to dispose of them both.  
  
You see, they were secretly facinated with humankind and their ways, and imitating them proved to be a valuable research option. As creatures borne of both darkness and light, humans were very interesting, unpredictable creatures. They truly deserved the label "Children of Chaos".  
  
Just what was it about humans that caused the Lord of Nightmares to favor them so? While they may never find the truth, they were determined to try.  
  
It never occured to them that the Lord of Nightmares may not know either, which may very well be true.  
  
But, even so, these nightly escapades continued with no sign of stopping, and as every day passed, both found themselves looking forward to sunset, eagerly awaiting to act out that night's new drama.  
  
Whoever said that monsters didn't like to have fun?  
  
However, one day, something new attacked the evil magnet, Lina Inverse, and everything changed.  
  
This is where the story truly begins...  
  
==============================  
  
Filia Ul Copt always took a walk through the woods on Sunday mornings. The peaceful forest offered her a time of reflection and confession that she treasured deeply.  
  
It also gave her a chance to regain some semblance of sanity which she had lost the moment Jillas had accidently broken her favorite vase.  
  
But all was peaceful now. With a deep sigh, she thought, well, at least he hadn't broken Valgaav.  
  
Actually, all was peaceful until she was attacked by a demon. A demon in the vague form of a human, colored pitch black, seeming to absorb all the light that fell upon it.  
  
A demon that seemed to be unaffected by holy magic.  
  
Filia had been disarmed immediately when she had charged it with her mace, and she had cast every spell she could remember off the top of her head, but still the monster remained unaffected. Giving up on winning, Filia turned to run.  
  
The demon, however, had something different on its mind. It teleported into her path and its fist connected with her jaw, the sheer force of the punch throwing her several meters away.  
  
Crashing into a tree, Filia's eyes shut involuntarily and she cried out in pain. When she opened her eyes, her vision was hazy, and she felt a little bit lightheaded, but she could still hear the demon laugh, a terrible, garbled sound, and she could see its slow approach, even as her vision warped its image.  
  
It was too late to transform into her dragon form to flee, or even to cast a recovery spell, and teleporting away just wasn't an option. All those took the strength and concentration that escaped her at the moment, replaced with a mind-numbing fear. She tried to stand, but her legs felt something less than jelly, and then she noticed the blood pooling beneath her and the tree branch impaling her side.  
  
She was doomed.  
  
Filia closed her eyes and prayed to whoever was listening that she could be saved, and if she couldn't, that Jillas and Gravos would be able to somehow raise Valgaav without her.  
  
Well, there were definitely no gods listening to her plea.  
  
But a certain monster was.  
  
Oh, so gently, a pair of arms wove themselves around her, freeing the branch from her wound. Briefly, there was nothingness, but then they were behind the demon, floating in the sky, just in time to see the demon destroy the blood-stained tree.  
  
"Oh, Filia, I never thought that you would give in so easily."  
  
Opening her eyes only to have them droop halfway closed again, Filia saw a smiling face with purple hair and she weakly asked, "Why...why did you...save me...?"  
  
Xellos frowned slightly at her response. For her to refrain from calling him a filthy piece of raw trash meant that her injuries were very serious indeed. "Now, now," he replied, "you should concentrate on healing rather than speaking."  
  
The demon finally located his prey, and a powerful energy blast was thrown at them. Xellos teleported again, and, laying her down against a moss covered tree, he said, "As for your question..." He smiled a little wider. "How am I supposed to survive without my favorite dish of 'dragon cusine'?"  
  
If Filia had the strength to facefault, she would have most definitely done so, as she had expected his usual response of 'That is a secret!' But, instead, she muttered back, "I'm the...only dragon...that you...feed on...these days..."  
  
Xellos' only response was an even wider smile that nearly reached his ears (or was that just Filia's blurred vision?). Then he turned and said, "Now, where is that obnoxious monster?" before teleporting away.  
  
From her postion, Filia could see the demon attack Xellos again, and she noticed that the shrapnel from the blast was deflected from her immediate area by a magical barrier. So Xellos hadn't been joking when he saved her life. He really was serious about keeping her alive! Taking his advice, she began to concentrate on a healing spell. Maybe she could repay the favor before the fight was over.  
  
L-sama knew that she didn't need a favor hanging over her head, especially considering that Xellos WAS a monster, after all.  
  
==============================  
  
The truth was, Xellos had been on the trail of this demon ever since it had attacked Lina and Gourry, whom he had begun to call his little 'conflict thermometers', a few days ago, considering their strange talent of attracting anything threating the world within a world's radius. Gourry's new sword had done absolutely nothing to it (which wasn't surprising, since evil creatures were immune to physical pain), and Lina had only been able to cast small, common spells because it would always interrupt her chants. It was a smart demon; very rare these days.  
  
Shortly after Xellos' appearance, it had fled, apparantly deciding that something else would be a more worthy prey. That prey had happened to be a wandering black dragon disguised as a human. The demon had killed the dragon easily, and had fed upon its enchanted flesh.  
  
When he'd informed his master about it, she's given him the same orders as she'd given him in regards to Valgaav--offer it a place in the monster race, and if it refused, to destroy it.  
  
Well, in Xellos' mind, it had refused the moment it chose to endanger Filia's life. She was HIS food, dammit!  
  
However, Zelas wouldn't be pleased with his reasoning, so he said, "See here, demon. If you value your life, you'll listen to me now. You will join the monster race or be destroyed!"  
  
As Xellos had suspected, the demon olnly chuckled before attacking anew.  
  
Teleporting to safety, Xellos smirked and said, "I see."  
  
===============================  
  
Once she had recovered completely, Filia stood on shaking legs to see the battle better. Neither fighter was landing a blow, since they were both fast enough to dodge, only succeeding in the destruction of the forest around them.  
  
And then Xellos made a mistake.  
  
Bored of simply dodging, he'd decided to simply absorb the next blast with his staff, apparantly hoping to catch his opponent off-guard with his counter attack.  
  
You could imagine the surprise on Xellos' face when the blast snapped his staff in half and cleaved straight through his chest.  
  
"Xellos!" Filia screamed as the monster fell from the sky, crashing against the hard earth, bouncing once.  
  
"Uh..." he groaned, rising to his knees and dissolving the remains of his staff back into his body. He clutched the hole in his chest to stop the energy flow, ignorant to the fact that it flowed freely from his back, and moaned, "What a stupid thing to do..."  
  
It was impossible, Filia thought. Everything had a weak point. To be invincible against physical attacks and both dark and holy magic was simply inconceivable!  
  
And, as it powered up for yet another energy blast, Xellos just knelt there, biding his time. Was he going to try to gather enough strength to teleport away? Filia wondered. And why was he staring at her like that? And why on Earth did he continue to hold up the protection barrier if it was usele--  
  
OH, SHIT! (Xellos nearly choked on his own essence, as he was reading the oh, so holy ex-priestess' thoughts at the time.)  
  
As it was, Filia barely managed to teleport away before the energy blast nullified the barrier and destroyed the place where she'd been standing just a few moments ago.  
  
Laughing at the entertainment it was receiving, the shadow demon tossed another blast at the near-powerless priest of Zelas Metallium.  
  
Without a second though, Filia tackled her injured and surprisingly light companion, throwing him out of range, but the edge of the blast caught her, and threw her past the monster priest and into a rosebush.  
  
The demon was having so much fun with these two that it decided to give them some time to recover. Never mind the fact that it was hungry; it wasn't every day that a child of darkness and of light teamed up against it, after all!  
  
====================================  
  
Looking toward his opponent, Xellos recognized the emotions surrounding it. The thing was playing with them, just as he, himself, had done countless times.  
  
Xellos did NOT appreciate the irony of the situation. There was no way that he would lose to this thing! He just needed to find something that could harm it, but what?  
  
The groan of pain coming from the rosebush inspired him.  
  
Standing up and stumbling over to Filia, he fell to his knees again in weakness, asking, "Filia, can you stand?"  
  
Moaning, a charred and scratched up Filia replied, "I could ask you the same thing, you filthy creature..."  
  
"Am I really that bad?" Xellos asked as they helped each other to their feet, leaning against the other for support.  
  
"Just thought I'd give you something to chew on," Filia replied, plunging her finger into one of her more serious wounds, shouting out in agony.  
  
Xellos gasped in surprise as he absorbed her pain. It wasn't much, but it was enough.  
  
He pulled her hand away before she could furthur the injury. "So," he said, "you know the plan?"  
  
"Of course I do," she groused. "It's been slapping me in the face ever since Alto and Baritone. How can I forget the ever so powerful light/dark fusion magic?"  
  
"That's my dragon!" Xellos exclaimed, flashing his trademark grin, somehow sounding like a loving parent in reference to their beloved child.  
  
Filia rolled her eyes. "And you're my favorite piece of trash, you goofball," she replied, sarcastic as hell.  
  
Boring quickly of the semi-cute/funny scene that its opponents were participating in, the demon cleared its throat and fired a burst of energy at the duo.  
  
But this time, they were ready. Holding hands, they called forth their respective powers, and the powerful blast evaporated against their flimsy, last second shield. (Hey, some strains of streptococus bacteria can destroy the mighty penicillin, but 'tis but a distant dream once it comes in contact with the almighty streptomycin!!! [stolen from pg. 290 of my Bio 20 text])  
  
The demon's surprise, confusion, and susiquent fear all served to highten Xellos' power. Laughing somewhat maniacally, he all but dragged the holy magic out of Filia's body and sent their fused powers at their now freaked out opponent for the deathblow.  
  
Heh. Nobody stole HIS act. (Or his food, for that matter)  
  
"...Um...Xellos...? Are you alright?" Filia asked the trembling mass on the scorched forest floor.  
  
"Owwwwwww..." he moaned. "My whole being is in agony and I can't even seem to feed off of my own pain.... This royally sucks..."  
  
It was then that Filia's naturally occuring painkillers decided to lose their potency, and, with a wimper, she fell down beside Xellos and wept bitterly. "I feel like a deep-fried bruise," she mourned.  
  
"...I can't feed off of your pain, either..." Xellos wailed.  
  
"Shut up! You're whining is hurting my ears, you piece of raw garbage!"  
  
Actually, they both looked rather similar to raw garbage at the moment...  
  
============================  
  
"For the love of the Lord of Nightmares, Xellos," Zelas groused, "sit DOWN."  
  
Xellos, who had previously been leaning against his newly regenerated staff like a crippled old man, fell into a sitting position with a relieved sigh.  
  
Zelas rubbed her forehead and lit a cigarette. She couldn't believe how much pride her priest had. According to him, if he couldn't stand while reporting to her, there would be no report at all.  
  
"From what you say," she pondered, "I can only come to the conclusion that this demon you killed was capable of interdimensional transport, and fed on enchanted creatures, perhaps even us monsters if it was able. I've heard stories about similar creatures. Apparantly, they ended up destroyed their own dimension because the balance between good and evil was harmed beyond repair. I hear that they're unable to procreate due to the fact that all other dimensions lack an element or two necessary for birth, and they travel all over to find a suitable nesting ground so they can recover their population." (*cough*cheesy-explaination-for-evil-demon*cough*)  
  
"One thing's for sure," Xellos rasped. "It was damn powerful. It's been nearly ten hours since I fought it, and I still haven't shaken off these injuries, yet."  
  
Zelas furrowed her eyebrows. "Oh, you poor dear. Let me help." She sent some of her energy to him.  
  
"No-wait! AUGH!" Xellos curled up on the floor in the fetal postion, like what happens when you knee a guy in the groin. (And that's what Zelas basically did.)  
  
"Oh, my," Zelas murmered, dropping her cigarette, surprised that she'd actually made it worse instead of better.  
  
"I..I don't know...what happened," Xellos gasped, "but I can't...absorb negative...energy anymore...and when I try...to speed up the...healing process...it only gets worse..."  
  
"Very strange," Zelas pondered. "Very strange indeed. You don't suppose that it could be a side affect of that demon's magic, do you?"  
  
"I'm not...entirely sure...Lord Beastmaster...but it sure...seems that way..."  
  
Zelas frowned in deep thought.  
  
Xellos opened his eyes when the pain lessened a notch. "I'm planning to pay Filia a visit tomorrow when I feel a little better to see if she has the same symptoms," he mumbled.  
  
Nodding, Zelas replied, "Yes, I do believe that would be the best thing to do."  
  
That night, a grieving mother bade a tearful farewell to her dying son on his deathbed.  
  
But Zelas noticed a strange look in her priest's eyes just before they closed 'for eternity'...  
  
=====================================  
  
What was taking him so long? Zelas pondered, slightly disturbed, taking a deep drag from her cigarette. It was nearly evening and he'd been gone all day. Had he been attacked in his weakened state? Was he lying in a ditch, breathing his last?  
  
And then there was his strange request that she wouldn't go looking for him before he came back...  
  
Zelas shook her head, hoping that the nightly dramas weren't warping her thoughts.  
  
It was then that Xellos chose to appear before her. He had been in the room for the past half hour, hiding in the shadows, although Zelas didn't know it, because she had respected his wish that she not use their link to find him. He hadn't felt fear for nine hundred years, when the pesky emotion had finally evaporated from his soul, but now he was...frightened of Zelas' potential reactions to the news. He couldn't even look her in the eye.  
  
"Ah, there you are," Zelas greeted, somewhat relieved. "I was about to break my promise and go looking for you. What kept you so long?"  
  
Xellos laughed a little nervously, an emotion he hadn't felt since his five hundrenth birthday. "Um, well, Lord Beastmaster, there were, ah, a few complications, to say the least..."  
  
Zelas raised an eyebrow. "'Complications'?" she repeated.  
  
Swallowing audiably, Xellos replied, "During that fight...Filia and I...we fused our magic...and, um...we somehow ended up...fusing ourselves in the process."  
  
There was a pregnant pause.  
  
"And just what does that mean?" Zelas demanded, rising from her throne, cigarette forgotten.  
  
Xellos was sweating bullets. "Ah, um, a part of me...became part of Filia...and vise versa."  
  
After another painful pause, Zelas asked, "How did this happen?"  
  
Scratching the back of his head, Xellos answered, "It probably happened because, ah, well, we fused our powers directly, without channeling them through a human being, and, um, we were so weak at the time...when we tried to recover, our bodies must have not...known the difference between the light and dark magic...instead, just pulling in any form of energy whatsoever..."  
  
"You seem to be well now, Xellos, especially for one whose own body is fighting a civil war between holy and demonic energy."  
  
"Um...yes...being near Filia seemed to...stabilize me, and I was...able to recover, yes." He bit his lip.  
  
Another pause.  
  
"...Are you wearing lipstick, Xellos?"  
  
Xellos' face turned bright red as he frantically tried to wipe away the evidence.  
  
Teleporting in front of him, Zelas grabbed her priest's arm, pulled it away from his face, and said, "You're blushing now. You've never done that before, especially not because of something as simple as a kiss." With her other hand, she tilted his face upwards to get a better look.  
  
Xellos snapped his eyes shut, but it was much too late.  
  
"...What happened to your eyes, Xellos? Open them."  
  
Trembling beneath his master's hand, Xellos slowly shook his head.  
  
"OPEN THEM!" she shouted.  
  
With a wimper, Xellos complied.  
  
They were still purple, Zelas analyzed, but they're not slitted, cold, and unfeeling. They're round, expressive, and...wet.  
  
It was then that she noticed something else, much more disturbing.  
  
"Xellos...why can't I sense you anymore?"  
  
He began to shake, his face scrunched up, his eyes closed, and a drop of liquid ran down his right cheek.  
  
"ANSWER ME!!!" she screamed, tightening her grip on his neck.  
  
"I-I-I'm not a-a m-m-monster an-n-nymore..." Xellos chocked out.  
  
The world seemed to stop. One of Zelas's fingernails drew thick, red blood and Xellos hissed in pain.  
  
Another tear wound its way down his right cheek and Xellos continued, whispering, "I-I don't... I don't know what I am anymore, Lord Beatmaster...!"  
  
Zelas took a deep breath.  
  
"You're human."  
  
Xellos opened his eyes.  
  
"Human," Zelas repeated. "Gaav was part human. Look what he gave rise to."  
  
"L-Lord Beastmaster...?" Xellos asked, fearfully.  
  
"For the sake of the monster race," Zelas intoned, "you must be destroyed."  
  
Xellos gasped, stuggling against her grip, breathing quick and shallow. "No...please! Lord Beastmaster--" he cried out.  
  
Zelas tightened her grip, cutting off his voice, and lifted him up by his neck. Xellos clutched her arm for support and kicked wildly. As a human, he wouldn't be able to teleport away as long as she prevented him with a mere thought. "Your loyalty is unsure, Xellos," she growled. "As a human, you will eventually turn traitor to the monster race, just as Gaav did. You know too much potentially harmful information about me. The only choice I have left is to seal your mouth forever." She released his other arm, which immediately attached to her other arm, but retained her hold on his neck. A sphere of darkness began to grow in her free hand.  
  
Xellos ceased to struggle, staring at his coming death, but still shook, and breathing past her grip on his neck was slowly becoming impossible.  
  
Staring deep into those soulful eyes, Zelas saw an untold amount of fear, but couldn't remember why that fear bothered her so, but it served to increase her anger nevertheless.  
  
But then Xellos grew limp in her grasp, he ceased to shake, and Zelas witnessed the fear in his eyes slowly fade into a weary acceptance. Presently, he closed his eyes tight and turned his head away from his upcoming doom.  
  
With a pained and startled cry, Zelas released her servant and the energy ball dissolved back into her hand.  
  
"Leave this place, Xellos," she said in monotone, turning away from him, not understanding the growing pain in her chest.  
  
"L-Lord...Beastmaster...? Xellos questioned, gasping air from his position on the floor, not understanding why she had so suddenly changed her mind.  
  
"I told you to leave my SIGHT!" she roared.  
  
A new boat of tears flooded Xellos' face and he shuddered.  
  
"Y-y-yes...Mother..."  
  
And then he was gone.  
  
===================================  
  
Zelas wandered fitfully across Wolf Pack Island, pacing back and forth over the cool sand. Wolves howled at the silver moon, confirming their eternal loyalty for their shining goddess.  
  
She took a deep swig from the bottle of wine in her grip, wishing that it could provide her with the escape it offered humans.  
  
Why? Why did she let Xellos go? Why did she find it so hard to destroy him? She'd disposed of her other servants without a second glance, so why were these difficulties arising NOW?  
  
And, the most important question of all, what was this infernal emotion stirring within her chest, renewing all the emotions that she'd ever felt in this dizzying display of madness that made her voice hitch and eyes burn?  
  
It just wasn't making any sense. Xellos could betray her at any moment, so why wasn't she hunting him down this very second?  
  
A lone wolf's howl pierced her thoughts and granted realization.  
  
She was lonely. Even now, Xellos was her only companion. He was the only one who served her without question, without a hidden agenda. He served her because it made her happy, not because it ensured his survival.  
  
She just couldn't find it in herself to actually end his existance because Xellos was always willing to grant her desires, even if those desires included ending his very life.  
  
Even if he was human, her happiness was all that mattered to him and nothing more.  
  
And, wouldn't the conversion from monster to man make that bond ever stronger?  
  
He was still loyal to her, even more so as a human being, as shown by his willingness to die for her.  
  
Why was she feeling such pain in her chest over this? That was an easy question now: she missed him.  
  
She wanted, NEEDED, him to come back.  
  
A mournful howl escaped her lips, and she thought, with grief, Xellos, I made a mistake! I never wanted you to leave! I'm sorry! Please come back! I need you here!  
  
"Xellos, come back!" she howled.  
  
And from behind her came a quiet voice that whispered, "I've been here all along, Lord Beastmaster. I just...couldn't leave you here, all alone..."  
  
Zelas whirled around, and, seeing her priest standing there, tears in his eyes and a bittersweet smile on his face, she felt this wonderful sense of being whole once more, even as the pain inside her chest grew ever stronger.  
  
"X-Xellos..." she whispered, "even now, you obey me without a thought of your own wellbeing."  
  
A slight nod, and he approached her. "Even now," he murmered, "you are my mother."  
  
The breath stopped in Zelas' lungs as Xellos stepped up to her and gathered her in his embrace. She could feel a wetness on her neck and the pain in her chest doubling, tripling, quadrupling, as a strange, new emotion warred with her inner darkness, granting her faintly remembered emotions to rise anew.  
  
And she fed from the pain it generated, and it made her ever stronger...  
  
"Xellos," she whispered, "what is this emotion I'm feeling? It's bringing back happiness and joy and all the rest..."  
  
"Mother," Xellos whispered into her ear, "you fell in love today."  
  
  
  
Author's Notes:  
  
Ahhh, I hope you appreciated this deeply symbolic and highly contriversal ficcie! I come up with one of these monsters about every year or so. n_n  
  
No, the end does not imply a romantic love between Zelas and Xellos. That would be just...ew.  
  
If you have found any inconsistancies in this fic, or something that doesn't fit into the Slayers universe, I would appreciate it very much if you would review and inform me! (I haven't seen some of the episodes, and I do not have access to translated Slayers manga)  
  
If you have any questions, feel free to send them to me! I will explain everything! (Just remember to leave your email address!)  
  
Just so everyone knows, the fight scene wasn't supposed to be a part of the fic (since it had absolutely nothing to do with the theme). But, when I started to write the scene in which Xellos tells Zelas how the battle went...I really HATED that scene! It made the battle seem so...boring. So, I went ahead and wrote the fight scene in all its glory (and, if you can't tell, I REALLY suck at writing action scenes...so you can think of it as practice). It also served to bring some humor into the fic, therefore, it's an asset. n_n  
  
Oh, and please remember that flames only encourage me! (So go right ahead! You have my unconditional permission! n_n) 


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